Do you lack confidence? When you think about yourself, are your thoughts positive or negative? Do you have head knowledge that God loves you but have a hard time believing it in your heart?
Sometimes I can’t believe I’m still battling feelings of insecurity. Over the years I’ve gained a lot of confidence, but I still have to put my armor on against the fiery arrows that aim to deflate my worth.
I become discouraged when I allow these arrows to pierce me. I lose my sense of purpose. I start doubting God can use me.
Don’t let these traps deflate the truth of who you are.
Letting other people define me
You’re stupid! You have no common sense! You’re an airhead. I believed these words and allowed them to define me as a young girl.
These words crippled me and made me afraid to try new things. I was terrified of failing and looking stupid. And so I learned to live without taking risks. I never tried out for sports or extra-curricular activities. I learned to live in fear.
This is a terrible way to live! I take risks now. Big risks to my ego, like starting a blog. But sometimes I still have to push myself to take more risks. I have to be confident in what God is calling me to do and stop doubting myself.
Friends, never forget, your worth is not defined by people.
Being afraid of what others will think of me
People pleasers live in fear of being rejected. I’ve been a people pleaser my whole life. I want you to like me. I want approval. This is also a terrible way to live! You simply cannot please everyone! The Bible says that we should live to please God, not man.
For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.
But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men.
for they loved the approval of men rather than the approval of God.
Doubting God’s love for me
Do you know what happens when you doubt God’s love for you? You try and earn His love by being good enough.
Sure, you may believe that you’re saved through faith and not by works. But there is a works mentality ingrained in you.
If you do all the right things, then your life will be blessed. Because just maybe you’ll make God proud of you. If you don’t do the right things, then God will be disappointed in you and you will suffer the consequences.
But friends, that thinking is not Biblical.
There’s nothing we can do to make him love us any more. We are already fully accepted. Fully loved. Even when we sin. That’s amazing grace!
When this kind of grace penetrates your heart, you will understand God’s love for you. You will have confidence in who He made you to be. Just the way he made you.
You’ll accept his free gift of salvation and live for Jesus because the gift is wrapped up in grace, not works. That’s freedom.
You can’t do anything to earn God’s love. His love for you is already perfect and complete!
Comparing myself to others
I saw the cover of People magazine, titled “The Most Beautiful Woman in the World.” Who feels good about themselves when they read a title like that? The first thing I did was hate on myself. I wonder what it feels like to be Jennifer Anniston, the most beautiful woman in the world? To look that young at her age. To have no wrinkles. I wonder how much older than her I look? But it doesn’t do me any good to compare myself to Jennifer Anniston!
I left the magazine on the shelf and knew in my heart that to God, every single person He ever made could rock the cover of that magazine.
I love this quote from Cheryl Martin’s book Distinctly You:
“Be authentically you. That’s when you will have your greatest success.”
No matter what your goals are, there will always be someone to compare yourself to. There will always be someone faster, prettier, and more talented. So stop comparing and just be the best you, you can be.
Have you ever listened to that voice that talks to you? The voice you hear when you mess up. The voice you hear when you’re scared to take a risk. The voice you hear when you’re not measuring up to your own standards.
You’re a bad mom. You’re so lazy. You’re certainly not the mom you envisioned yourself being after 6 years of infertility. You were such a great teacher and now you can barely manage your own kids.
Isn’t that simply awful?! Do you know what happens when we talk negatively to ourselves? We begin to believe it as truth. When we believe lies as truth we start to mold into the role we have given ourselves and we become stuck.
But when you speak the truth of who you are to yourself you become the person you know God wants you to be. You live out the truth of who you really are. You make changes. Not out of guilt but because you know that God has equipped you to be the best you-you can be.
I’ve included a free download with verses to help you fill your mind with the truth of God’s Word! Also, I’m suggesting some great books I’ve read that have helped me develop Christ-esteem!
What has caused you to doubt your worth? How can you encourage someone else to have confidence?
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