We parent our children and wrestle with the dichotomy of time.
In the daily tasks of mothering 4 small children, sometimes time stands still. It feels like the movie Groundhog Day; the same thing happens every single day.
The alarm rings and we rush kids to get ready and take them to school.
We endlessly clean up messes while trying to tame our grumpiness. We fold endless mounds of laundry and trip over toys. We go to games and help with homework.
We wouldn’t trade the gift of mothering for anything, but sometimes we just want to escape to a spa and let our feet soak.
And then it happens… those moments.
This will be the last time I will ever see this.
And it pains you.
Suddenly you realize that the daily schedule has turned into years and you better slow down and take a picture with your mind.
You want to remember.
You don’t want it to fall into the everyday category where it passes by and you don’t even realize it because it seemed like just another day.
Sure, you’ve heard it from everyone, how fast it goes by—that you need to enjoy these younger years as much as possible. They will soon be gone. But sometimes, when you are in the middle of it, you can’t see clearly until you are confronted with the realization, yourself.
How did I get here so fast?
Today, my last child learned to swim. The life vest came off. I will never see another child of mine learn how to swim.
Take a picture. Engrave this moment in my brain.
Soon, my youngest will be stepping out into transitional kindergarten. I will no longer have a little companion by my side every day.
I’m reminded to make these last months with her the kind of moments that will be remembered.
For me, that might mean setting aside the house chores to take her to a movie, play with her, watch her swim, interact with her and put my phone down.
Earlier this year, my 11 year old went to a birthday party for my younger daughter where everyone was provided a princess costume. I admit that I bribed her with five dollars to wear it, but I intuitively knew that she wanted to wear it.
I know that growing up means saying goodbye to some of the things you enjoy but feel like you’re getting too big for. I remember feeling like I was getting too old to play Barbie’s but still not really wanting to stop.
So I look at my 11 year old in the Snow White dress with her hair done up in a bun, and it just seems like yesterday she was 3, playing Cinderella with daddy, dancing with him until the clock struck and running away with her shoe.
This will be the last time I ever see her in a princess dress.
I took my children to a graduation party. They were the youngest kids there. I watched a slideshow of my friends’ 3 beautiful daughters. It seemed like yesterday they were the age of my children. One minute they were little girls performing in cute dances and now they are moving away to go to college.
I can’t wrap my mind around the passing of time and the way I feel inside.
Time feels the same to me on the inside.
Honestly, it seems like yesterday I was posing for pictures in my cap and gown with my best friend. But when I look at my progressing grey hair and my face beginning to wrinkle and droop, I’m reminded of time’s great
paradox—that it moves in both slow motion and fast speed.
I’m reminded that life stages sometimes feel like slow motion until you have a “last time” moment. That’s the moment you understand the fast speed button has been on without you even knowing.
It’s then that you commit yourself to enjoying the slow motion, to be truly present in it so that you remember how lovely it truly is.
Because you know soon enough you may look back and want to press the rewind button—if only for a moment—to bask in it’s preciousness.
How about you? What have been some moments with your children that made you want to savor time with them? Share in the comment section below.
So funny to read this as my daughter came just a short while ago to pick up my 2 granddaughters. School will be starting next week & the younger one will be going to preschool this year. My daughter was weepy as she had just seen the cubby assigned to Jocelyn, her last starting school. It is so true – each last & each first brings on such a rush of emotions. May we enjoy each day we have with them. Lovely post!
Hi Joanne,
My youngest starts on Tuesday. I will be kid free for the first time in 12 years! I’m sure I will have tears and a flood of mixed emotions. Thank you for your kind comment!
Sniff sniff. No words. Thanks for sharing this at Grace and truth. I’m grabbing my box of Kleenex now…
Thank you for featuring this at Grace and Truth.! I was surprised when I saw it featured on your blog. It’s an honor learning through CBB and being a part of such a wonderful group. Thank you!
Oh girl. You are playing my song right now. I’m trying to catch up with the fact that all of mine are out of the nest, save the last – and she’s perched on the edge! That fast forward button has been on all these years and I didn’t even know it!
But you are oh, so wise to see it. I remember thinking about it even as it was happening, and taking those mental pics myself. And now, I still find myself in the middle of chaos and yet, needing to slow down and take those pics and for goodness sakes, put that phone down. We all struggle. The important thing is, we know we struggle and we call on God and His grace for help.
Such a good post, Valerie, I’m happy to be your neighbor today on Grace and Truth!
Hi Ruthie! Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. It’s always good to know there are fellow strugglers out there trying to slow down and enjoy the moment when we are often in the middle of chaos. Have a blessed day!
Such wonderful insights here. It’s so important to live in the moment and not miss anything God has given us on this earth. Yes, there are some things out of our control, but so many things are free and right in front of us – like our family, and nature. So easily they can slip away or change. This is a wonderful reminder to savor what you have today. I am trying to live my life this way, grateful for everything so that if tomorrow it is gone, I will have loved to the fullest. It is a constant balance. I fail often, but keep trying.
I’m so glad you were encouraged. Yes, life is a constant balance. I’m right there with you. Thank you for your kind words.
That really touched my <3, and actually even made me think about Sophie and how many times I've wished that I would've not focused on my physical and mental pain and enjoyed her even more
I know she knew she was so loved but these are my regrets for "me"!
And oh my gosh, BTW Val, I can not believe what a spot on ringer Madeline is of YOU!!!
Beautiful entry and thank u for sharing and reminding!!!
Love u dear friend-
Kimberly
Thank you Kimberly! I love that you read the posts and comment. I’m so sorry about precious Sophie. God knows your heart and you can’t help your physical and mental pain. You are free in the grace which covers you through Christ to live with no regret knowing you did your best and still do. May our Savior wrap you up in His arms and flood peace into your heart. I love you dear friend!
Many times we don’t even know it at the time, that what we’re watching our children do, is for the last time. I’m glad that I have (mostly) been very aware of this, and have appreciated the moments. My daughter wanted to be a professional ballerina, and was on the right track to get there, for many years. I had no idea last Christmas, watching her onstage for the Nutcracker, that it would be the last time I would get to do that. Shortly after that, an injury took her out of ballet for good. Each day is a gift. Thank you for this beautiful reminder.
Hi Dawn,
Thank you so much for your comment. It’s true that those moments happen and we don’t even know it at the time. It must have been heartwarming watching your daughter perform at the Nutcracker. So sorry that she had an injury. Each day is truly a gift to cherish! Blessings to you!
Time as slow motion and fast speed even applies to the ‘Golden Years’, as in my case! I was coming home riding with my friend from our tennis match and we see my husband turning the neighborhood corner, out running in the heat, drenched in sweat, looking strong, and I was so grateful that we can still do the athletic things we love in our mid sixties. Snapshot! Thank you Valerie:)
That is awesome! You have always been athletic and in shape! My parents are the same and I hope to be too! Enjoy the moment!