Part 2: His Tips
Since my husband and I just celebrated our 20th anniversary, I thought it would be fun for us to each come up with 10 things we’ve learned about marriage over the years.
When I asked my husband if he would participate, he was a little unsure at first. After all, most men aren’t really into mushy lists. Anyway, I told him I thought it would be fun if we both did our own and then read them to each other. I was curious to see if we would come up with similar tips.
One day, I got a text from him. I smiled and giggled at how short his list was compared to mine. Just another difference between men and women, right? His list may be as long as this introduction, but it is filled with truth and right to the point.
I’m so excited to share these words from my husband with you!
10 Essentials for a Lasting Marriage
1. Christ – the glue that makes the marriage bond stick. The top of the triangle. As you grow closer to Jesus you grow closer to each other.
Christ is the glue that makes the marriage bond stick! Share on X
2. Acceptance – if you can’t accept each other for who you are, then you have no chance. Don’t try to change each other. Remember why you fell in love to begin with.
3. Communication – is key. You need to learn how to communicate and understand the way your spouse communicates.
4. Commitment – for better or for worse, enough said!
5. Counsel – sometimes a couple needs someone who can see things from the outside looking in.
6. Forgiveness-Without it, your marriage is doomed!
Forgiveness - without it, your marriage is doomed! Share on X
7. Love – 1 Cor.13
8. Fun/spontaneity – take the time to have fun and refuse to grow up in this area.
9. Respect – each other and show it through action.
10. Sex – have it often, be spontaneous and transparent. Be open minded and adventurous. Willing to come out of your comfort zone. Make it fun. Be selfless. Cannot be harmful, degrading or forced. Give your spouse room to grow and allow her to do it in her own time.
And there you have it. I was pleased to see that our lists were similar in many ways!
If you’d like to see my tips, you can read them here.
This was a fun way to communicate. Go ahead and give it a try and see what you and your husband have learned about marriage.
What’s your number one tip to keep marriage strong?
Hello there! I'm Valerie, a mom of four and wife of 27 years. My writing inspires others to cultivate courageous faith and find solace in trusting God, especially in moments of fear and uncertainty. Join me on this adventure as we explore the beauty of trusting God when we are afraid. 
You see these kinds of articles a lot, but they’re almost always written by a woman. Great to get a male perspective!
#MMBH
These are really great tips! I find it’s especially nice to read them right now as we’re in the midst of raising littles and the stress is high!
Love those bullet points – and it’s great to get the male perspective!
Great advice! I love that your hubby contributed! Blessings to you both for your honest advice and support of marriages everywhere!
Wonderful advice!
Thank you, Susan!
A wonderful list of ways to keep your marriage strong! I completely agree with them all. Thanks for linking up with Grace and Truth.
Thank you Aimee! Have a great day!
Hey Valerie,
Congrats on 20 years, and great tips. I love the idea of two people making a list. I agree with Mihaela, #8 is so important 🙂
Thank you, Jed! Yes, we can’t allow the busyness and daily routines to take over having fun!
Love that you did this together! How many of your suggestions matched? It would be interesting if you did another post to explore the differences and why you think the values and priorities vary for men and women. thanks! very thought-provoking.
Thank you, Karen! I love your idea for a future post!
This is great advice, Valerie. I will remember these in the future, should I ever get married. 🙂
Thank you for stopping by Inez!
Will keep these wonderful advice in mind for future references. 🙂
Thank you Lux!
I agree with most of these, however being a divorce woman now. I can see how some of these didn’t go as planned and how I wish I could change some things. There’s only so much “for better or for worst” someone can take before they can’t take much anymore. But this is an okay post.
I’m so sorry for the struggles you faced in your marriage. Only God knows what goes behind the closed doors of marriage. Often times there is deep hurt and brokenness. where Christian pat answers and “how tos” fall short when there is deep healing that needs to take place in one or both partners. Having been through some difficult times in my marriage, I am sensitive to your comment and appreciate your honesty.
Ooh. I like #2 – acceptance. Amazing how quickly we forget that when we fell in love, we weren’t trying to “fix” that person. 🙂
Thank you, Faith!
Good advice. I’ve been married 40+ years and could agree with each one of them. life throws hard things at us — death of a child, loss of job, sickness,– but if we are keeping close to Christ, our marriage will become stronger.
Congratulations on 40 years! I’m so sorry if you have been through all those struggles. But praise God that we can become stronger through them and in our marriage when we strive to keep close to Christ through them. I appreciate your comment, Pamela!
Cute idea; having each made up and list and comparing. Great lists too.
Thank you!
My husband and I just read this together ?
Awe, that made me smile.
I feel like a lot of people forget #8 and tend to get bored from each other. My husband and I like to try new things together. I told my brother the other day when you get married play!
Yes, marriage is supposed to be fun, right? Thank you for commenting.
What a great list! I agree with every point, 100%. I’ll be sharing this. : ) I hope you have a great weekend.
It’s always nice to know that someone you respect agrees! Thank you for sharing!
Great tips!
Thanks for stopping by.
I love your man’s post, Alison.
Short, simple, to-the-point, and good!
You are married to a wise man!
Thanks, Melanie!
How fun! My husband and I have been married for 21 years this July and he wrote a post for my blog last year on our 20th and it’s one of my most popular! I think people love to hear a husband’s perspective because we rarely do. Here’s the link if you are interested: https://www.noordinarydays.com/2015/08/10/love-at-20-years-of-marriage-part-2/. Happy Anniversary! PS I’m visiting from Friendship, Family and Faith Fridays 🙂
Yes, I think a husband’s perspective is always refreshing because you don’t always see them. I can’t wait to check out your hubby’s post too!
This was good, thank you I needed this ?
Thanks Sahleena!
Great tips! Thanks for the post.
I’m glad you liked them Kay!
Great list, Valerie! Your husband did a great job! I especially agree with acceptance. I think couples should date long enough to know each other well. Find out if there are “deal breakers” before you get married and then commit. Give it all you’ve got. I then remind myself that I’m not perfect either and I’m so very thankful he puts up with me. 🙂 Great posts! It’s a blessing to share them both!
I agree! Find out those deal breakers! Ask questions! And once you’re married, give it all you’ve got. Thank you for sharing the posts too!
I wasn’t sure what to expect when I started reading but your husband has some really great tips! Thanks for sharing! Found you on Faith Filled Friday link up.
So glad you thought so Mindy!
Such great tips! I will be sharing this with my newly married friends, thank you.
So glad you liked them! Thanks for sharing, Allison!