“Mom, you can come on the field trip, just don’t sit by me.”
Any middle-schoolers in your house?
My daughter and I have always been close. But I knew this time would come.
In a few months, she will be a teenager.
The “no you didn’t” shake-of-her-head-as-she-wags-her-finger attitude is in full swing.
Attitude checks and strong wills are coming head to head.
This is the time Melanie Redd refers to as the Dark Side in her parenting book, How to Win Your Child’s Heart for Life.
Thankfully, the Dark Side is just a season when your child goes through changing hormones, emotions, mood swings, and being embarrassed by you.
I’ve gotten to know Melanie Redd and love her posts on Ministry of Hope. She is one of the biggest encouragers I know! I knew her book would provide encouragement for parents like me and give direction and helpful feedback.
How can you win and keep your child’s heart?
Melanie’s book gives hope and useful strategies to help parents navigate through the rough rapids of parenting during each stage of their development.
This book speaks to parents of children all ages.
The key principal is:
“Win their hearts as little children and keep their hearts through their growing up years, and you’ll have their hearts for life.”
Melanie asks you to take a true hard look at your relationship with each of your kids and ask yourself, “Do I truly have the heart of each of my children?”
Then she takes you through eight parenting strategies and gives you practical tips, instruction and Biblical principals to help you win your child’s heart.
These strategies are:
Make prayer a top priority in your home
Always be learning and growing as a parent
Seek out older, wiser friends who can give you insight and perspective
Stop barking at your kids
Teach your children when they are most teachable
Choose your battles wisely
Make your home a place of laughter, joy, humor and fun
Never stop loving and encouraging your kids
One of my favorite strategies was, ”Teach your children when they are the most teachable.”
She says,
“We cram and push and lecture when we should be serving, inviting, sharing and discussing.”
After a recent attitude check with my daughter, she wrote me this sweet note:
Dear Mom,
I am sorry that I don’t listen. I am sorry that I argue with you and give you body language and roll my eyes. I am going through a phase, like the terrible twos. I am beginning to start my teenage years and I am sorry if I anger you during them. I just can’t help myself. I always have to have the last word or look. I am sure this will pass. I am sorry that I argue with my siblings and tease them when they antagonize me. It’s just starting to become a hobby I don’t like. Please forgive me.
As I read this note, I knew I still had her heart. I will tuck this note away for future reference when that teenage-phase drama appears again and I feel like she’s pulling (slipping) away.
I will remember Melanie’s advice. If I work at keeping my child’s heart…then she will come back. I will have her heart forever. It will just be a season.
As parents, we need to find ways to encourage our children towards good behavior while keeping their hearts at the same time. We need to have an understanding of their development so we can have patience and live with them in an understanding way.
We need to find ways to encourage our children towards good behavior while keeping their hearts. Share on X
This involves heart to heart communication and love.
Each chapter in How to Win Your Child’s Heart For Life, is followed by a list of applicable questions that will get you to think about where you struggle and how you might implement the strategy.
I love the practical insights and Godly wisdom in this book! This would make an excellent small group study as well.
Melanie was kind enough to send me an extra book to give away. You can enter to win here.
a Rafflecopter giveaway
This post is linked up at Quick Lit and Book Nook.
Melanie Redd:
Blogger, author, speaker, encourager and teacher, Melanie’s passion is to offer HOPE! Married to Randy for 25 years; the couple enjoys travel, eating out, and hanging out with their two college-aged kids. You can read more from Melanie on her blog at www.melanieredd.com.
Connect with her here:
Hello there! I'm Valerie, a mom of four and wife of 27 years. My writing inspires others to cultivate courageous faith and find solace in trusting God, especially in moments of fear and uncertainty. Join me on this adventure as we explore the beauty of trusting God when we are afraid. 
Valerie,
This is such a good takeaway from Mel’s book. It is where I feel the unsureness slipping into my heart, too, as I deal with the teenager stuff. This weekend I have gotten to see where my little (almost 6-foot little) guy always comes back to where he knows his heart is safe. Right where his parents have loved him to pieces. So thankful for that!
Thank you for being you, my friend, and sharing hope so beautifully! I am honored to have your support on my Moments of Hope Link-up!
Blessings and smiles,
Lori
I, too, loved Melanie’s book. Your sweet daughter has got that heart to heart communication method down well. I’m guessing she learned that from you. Her note is precious.
Thank you for linking with Grace and Truth last week. I would love to feature this post tomorrow.
Awe, thank you for your kind words, Dawn! I’m so excited that you are sharing this at Grace and Truth tomorrow. What a blessing!
Prayer’s gotta be first – then everything else will fall into place 🙂
So true Andrea!
Those eight strategies are great. Sounds like a good book!
It’s a great book, Leigh! I think it would be an excellent small group study too!
I have 4 teens, one graduated and the greatest struggle has been taking them from having “their parents faith” to making it their own. They know all the facts, they’ve accepted Jesus as their Savior, but the part about loving Him and keeping His commands…..work in progress…. Lots of prayer!
Yep. As much as we do our best to train and teach them, in the end they have to learn to fly on their own. It reminds me to make the most of my time while they are young. To pour truth into their hearts while I can and hope that one day their faith will be more than just something they learned as a child. My heart goes out to you Dana. I will soon be in the same place.
Thank you for the giveaway too. i am trying to find ways to encourage my child to love God more. I demonstrate, but she is a teen right now and friends are so important to her.
Thank you, Mary. Good for you for trying to encourage your child to love God more. I can imagine it being hard when we long to see our child’s faith grow. We long for them to come to a place where they want and desire to be close to God on their own. I pray that our children will desire a relationship with Christ. I pray protection over their hearts as they adjust to the changes of growing up. Thank you for sharing your heart here.
Such beautiful strategies. I’m not a mum yet, but praying for mums to be blessed through your blog!
Thank you for visiting Samantha!
Love the photo of your kids, Valerie. I think my favorite point is “make your home a place of laughter and fun.” Thanks for sharing Melanie’s resource; we all need to be encouraged in this way over and over.
I love that one too. In the daily routine of life, we often need to let loose and have some fun, be silly, dance around and laugh!
Great post. Your daughter’s letter. . . Brings back a few memories of apology letters from my girls.
Ha, Ha–Did you keep them? I love apology letters! Especially when you know they are sincere.
Thank you so much for the giveaway! I really enjoy Melanie’s work and I am sure this is wonderful, too. Have a great week. Thank you also for the great review.
Hi Jaime,
Thank you so much for your kind words!
I love the 8 strategies covered in Melanie’s book. Just one glance at your list and I’m already thinking about the areas I need to work on. Thankfully, God goes before us to make all of this possible, otherwise, we’d be utterly discouraged.
I’m so glad God used that note from your daughter to encourage you, Valerie. There’s hope at the end; we just have to keep pushing through and modeling Christ for them.
Blessings and Happy Mother’s Day!
I could read that list over and over again! Thankfully we have God to help us implement the strategies. I hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day too!
Awww… This book sounds so good! My husband and I are working our best to win our little man’s heart at a young age and keep it forever!
Good for you, Susannah! I’m with you!
I am so excited about those book! The more I read about it the more I want to get my hands on it! 🙂
It’s a great book, Stefani! It would also be great for a small group study.
This post is a beautiful introduction to Melanie’s book! I’m sure many parents will be encouraged and blessed in using these strategies to win and keep their children’s hearts.
Thank you Wendy! It’s such a great book!
Thank you, Valerie, for sharing this post and giveaway today!
I’m praying that many parents will be encouraged and blessed as they read!
I’m so grateful for you and for your ministry!
You are amazing~
Melanie
It’s a joy and honor to share such a helpful book for parents! Thank you, Melanie!