My five-year-old had just learned to ride a bike. I never knew my paranoia of her getting hurt would turn into such a big reality check for me.
Riding a bike sure mirrors the life lessons of taking risks and facing fear. We teach our children to take off the training wheels and eventually release them to balance life on their own.
We run with them until the last possible moment, knowing they may fall, hoping they’ll be able to get right back up and try again. And sometimes we want to hold onto them a little too long.
I’m not very good at watching my kids take risks.
On our family vacation, we decided to venture out on her first solo family bike ride on a Tahoe trail. My daughter was wobbly and unstable.
Before the bike ride started, fear consumed my thoughts. What if she can’t stop her bike down a hill? What if those back breaks aren’t strong enough? What if a car hits her while we cross the busy street?
As my mind visualized her crashing, I prayed over and over, “Lord, please keep her safe!” I followed close behind trying to guide her with my anxious mommy-coaching.
And then it happened. Her handlebars swiveled and she lost control and did the superman off of her bike. In a rush of panic, I swerved to avoid hitting her and slammed on my breaks.
The next thing I knew, I was flipping over my bike, my entire body in midair, crashing backward onto the graveled pavement.
I couldn’t get up; intense pain radiated in my elbow. My daughter and I were crying as we lie on the graveled pavement. Thank God, she was ok and only suffered road rash on her tummy.
I, on the other hand, would endure surgery the day before Easter for a shattered elbow involving pins and plates in my bone, 21 staples and months of physical therapy.
I reviewed that day in my mind many times. Deep inside I knew fear played a role in my accident and was actually the main character in my life. I think this was the first time I truly recognized it.
A year later, our family was back in Tahoe on Spring break and everyone wanted to go on a bike ride. Everyone, but me.
Those same fearful thoughts came back. What if I fall? What if I break my only good elbow?
I went on a morning jog to sort out my thoughts and breathed in the smell of fresh pine needles and listened to the praise music
of Kim Walker-Smith of Jesus Culture.
“He loves us… Oh how He loves us…” over and over, the words repeated.
And I realized that I needed to hear them over and over because deep down I didn’t really believe them. But God was telling me He loved me! Over and over again!
The words penetrated my heart so deeply until my sobs suddenly burst through all the hidden places I stuffed them.
I ran up the hill—breathing in God’s love for me and breathing out all my fears and doubts—the hill that so many times mirrored my journey as I struggled to run the race of life and make sense of all its sorrow and the fear I held inside of me.
The root of my fear was doubting God’s love and care for me.
I told God how tired I was of being afraid. Afraid of something bad happening, afraid of doing the wrong thing, afraid of what people think, afraid to just be me.
And yes—afraid of falling off my bike.
And in the midst of my surrendering and tears, words seemed to enter my thoughts that weren’t my own.
Get back on your bike. Go on that bike ride.
I questioned them.
Lord is that you speaking to me? Or are those my own thoughts? How do I know it’s really you?
You will never know if you don’t obey.
Again words that suddenly came to my mind out of nowhere.
And then I knew it was true.
Obeying meant trusting Him.
How would I know whether the promptings were from Him if I didn’t obey? I wouldn’t.
I was at a crossroads. And I decided on that day to choose faith over fear.
To choose courage over weakness.
Confidence over insecurity.
Action over avoidance.
And I got back on my bike. And I didn’t fall.
Are you at a crossroads?#TradeFearForFaithSeries Share on X
I believe the first step we need to take in handing our fear over to the Lord is recognizing its hold on us. We may not see patterns of behavior that have become habitual ways to avoid fear. We may not recognize the depth of our issues.
But God can help us discover those areas. And he may reveal other areas of fear as well.
He did for me.
Over the last few years, I’ve been trading in my insecurity, my fear of driving on freeways, my fear of taking risks, my fear of setting boundaries in relationships and my fear of what people think.
I’ve been getting back up on that bike and discovering how great it feels to trust in God and let go of my own perceived sense of control!
I’ve included a free printable where you can answer some questions that will help you recognize some areas of fear in your life. During this series, I’ll be offering several free resources to help you on your journey.
After we recognize the ways fear has affected our lives we need to be willing to change. You have to make a choice. Decide ahead of time. I know, it’s not easy. It’s hard.
I believe you have to get to the point where you really want to make changes. It’s a determined choice followed by gradual steps of progress that are difficult but necessary.
But you don’t go alone! We’re in this together,
and God is always right by your side.
If you are a subscriber you can go to this link and enter the password in the last email I sent you. You’ll have access to the most recent printables in one place.
I also am having a few giveaways of some items that really helped me have courage in the face of fear.
Here are some questions to help you recognize areas of fear.
I made a free printable with the questions below.
What are you afraid of? Why?
How has fear changed you?
How has fear interfered with your life?
How has it impacted your family?
What have you avoided in order to protect yourself from fear?
Are you willing to take small steps in order to face fear?
Why do you want to make changes?
Dear Father, I come before your presence and ask that you show me areas in my life where I may be holding back due to fear. Show me where I need to take risks and have the courage to make changes in my life. Reveal to me areas where I try to control my surroundings in order to prevent uncomfortable feelings or something bad happening. Help me trust in your sovereignty over my life. Today I choose to trade my fear for faith. Thank you for leading me on the pathway of freedom! Amen.
Will you do me a favor? I think establishing a community is so important in order to choose faith over fear. Will you share in the comments below what God is leading you to do? Take the time to encourage someone by leaving them a reply as well.
Hello Valerie, I love your blog on fear, I’m grateful how God supplies us help through stories of other people’s life .Fear can surely ” cripple ” someone & I have come to realize as I read the comments in the replies here how small is my faith & that I’ve let fear hinder many things.Thank you so much for showing me how to let go.
Thank you so much. I think the first step is recognizing areas of fear we may be holding onto so we can move forward in faith. I’m so glad you found this post helpful. I appreciate your visit so much!
I laughed out loud when I read you went for a RUN to think about/pray about ALSO going on a bike ride.
In all seriousness, know fear well. Recognizing it’s hold and pressing into it instead of avoiding it have been helpful AND the hardest. So often I want to believe I’m stronger than the fear when I need to acknowledge it’s not MY strength that’s needed.
Ha, that is ironic and funny. And yes, that’s a great truth to remember that God give us strength when we are afraid! He sure does!
Fear can be crippling, yes. And we can sometimes rationalize our fears, make them seem reasonable. Like the fear of having an accident on Nigerian highways. I could count many reasons why that is a possibility but none of it is taking into account the presence and care of God. Thank you for this and God’s grace with the entire series.
Thank you so much for sharing Edith! It’s so true that we need to remember the presence and care of God instead of rationalizing why are fears are reasonable.
Man, Valerie! That fall would cause me to have some BIG fear issues, too! Yikes! I know after being in a car accident as a teenager, it took me years to relax in a car. I’d flinch constantly. This is also such a timely post for me. There has been so much to fight against lately, I’m weary. Fear keeps trying to edge in making me feel like I want to hide within the walls of my home. I keep speaking the Word of God over those feelings. Reminding myself of truth – not feelings. I know God is fighting for me. I know He loves me. And I know that I need not walk in fear, but rather in VICTORY!
Love this series, sweet friend! You are awesome ♥
Lori
I’m so sorry you feel weary my friend. You are handling fear with God’s truth and He will walk you through victory! It’s so hard not to live by our feelings–I so get that! I’m praying for you. Thank you for your faithful support.
Valerie! Hi!:-) Whoa..that fall?!? Glad you made it through..and your daughter too! I have to admit…thinking about what I’m afraid of is hard for me?? Right now, my fear is writing. I know you understand. It’s something that I’m having to really work through! Prayers are appreciated and I SO appreciated this post today!
I love your writing Shannon! And yes, I so understand that fear. Praying for God’s direction for you. You are always such a blessing to me.
I love how God works in our lives to bring us to the point where He reveals that which was hidden and overcomes the darkness that blinds us to His love and awesome power. I love that He shows us that He is FOR US.
Thank you for sharing your testimony to God’s working in your life. It is so good to read about someone else who hears that still, small voice speaking to them and realizes that they must obey.
That idea that we control things… I wonder if God smiles and shakes His head like we do with our kids sometimes when we observe them doing or saying things that show how little they really understand when they obviously think they know so much. My daughter and I were looking at old photos over the weekend, and she mentioned how she remembered thinking her brother knew so much. She was 4 and he was 6. LOL. 🙂
Hi Ruth! Yes, I love how God doesn’t leave us alone and stagnant but longs for us to live in the freedom that comes through trusting Him in obedience. It’s so easy for us to ignore areas where we need to grow because they can be hard to look at. And like you said, we can be so blind and think we know better. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment.
What a beautiful post. I am going to share it. Thank you so being so honest and vulnerable. You have inspired me. This month I have been writing on fear, anxiety, and worry. It is so true we need to choose faith over fear.
Thank you so much for sharing Maree! I’ll have to check out your blog and writings on fear and anxiety. Have a blessed day!
I can relate so well to the words you shared here. I can imagine that many other people, can. Thank you for this encouragement and thank you for the reminder that we’re alone in this.
God has been leading me to release my fear in some areas regarding relationships lately. My tendency is to be more guarded but I want to love like Jesus loves.
Thank you for your kind comment and sharing your heart.
Wow what a story and I am glad your ok now. Yes its always a tough milestone trading faith for fear but when we do, we begin to elevate our lives to whole new levels with Jesus on our side.
Ps: I ride a bike about three times a week for exercise and recently crashed in my garage and had flashbacks of it as i was reading abut your incident but luckily I didn’t break anything.
Have a Blessed Day,
Bradley Paul
Hi Bradley! I know what you mean! I feel like God is showing me a whole new level of what trusting Him really means. It feels so freeing!
I’m so glad you didn’t break anything from crashing! I learned my lesson about wearing my helmet during my crash. My head actually hit the pavement and I discovered this past year that I did injure my neck.
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment!
Have a great day!
Oh Val, I read this in my inbox this morning and it deeply spoke to me! We all go through fear at different stages of life but at this juncture where my kids are leaving the nest and my parent’s health weighs in the balance, I find myself gripped by fear as never before. Your prayer at the end is full of wisdom and truth, and I prayed that prayer! Your printable is wonderful and you are doing good things over here!
I’m sharing this everywhere. Wonderful, wise words, friend!
Oh, Ruthie! It’s so hard to let go. It can feel so scary. I’m so sorry about your parents. Praying for God to comfort you and give you peace beyond what we can understand. I sure have missed you too! Thank you so much for taking the time to leave me an encouraging comment. It made me smile this morning.
I ask myself this question all the time. “Are these my own thoughts or you God”. And sometimes when I am not sure, I decide to step out in faith and he quickly confirms when it’s him. Now if I could just know beforehand because I have the desire to do what only he wants me to do and fear that they are just my own thoughts most of the time. I will continue to pray on this subject that ever so affects my life on a daily basis. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Exactly! I totally know what you mean? I wrestle with the same question. I have to really be in prayer about this too. I agree, that I never want to act on thoughts that aren’t from Him. God promises to give us wisdom when we ask for it. Especially when we are in prayer over what to do to grow closer to him or help others. Sometimes my fear holds me back from stepping out in faith and choosing to trust God with the outcome. I love when God shows himself to be true when I take a risk for Him, He always proves to be trustworthy.
Amen! Trade that fear for faith!
Love this series, Valerie!
Sure am thankful for you and for your ministry as well~
I’m thankful for you too Melanie!
Yikes! I’m glad you’ve been able to recover from that first fall! One of the hard parts I think about facing fear is that it is valid- we have good reasons to be cautious, God even calls us to sometimes (like by guarding our hearts!) But first and foremost we’re to trust in Him. Thanks for sharing this story! I bet you’ve heard of it already, but if you haven’t, you might like Kelly Balarie’s book Fear Fighting!
Hi Bethany! Thank you! Yes, I’m very glad I was wearing a helmet because I actually have a neck injury from also hitting my head. I agree that facing fear is tricky. In this series I go over the difference between healthy fear and unhealthy fear. In fact, the fear of God is what helps us to trust God and not be afraid. I loved Kelly’s book too and was a part of her launch team. It’s a great book!