“Mom, I try not to take the candy but my brain walks away and wants to get the sugar.”
She’d been told countless times not to take food out of the cupboards. Even when we place the snacks up high, I’d catch her climbing up cupboard shelves.
I’d vacuum and find wrappers hidden under the ottoman.
So I tried to get to the heart of the matter with my 5-year old.
Why does she keep doing this?
She continued,
“Mom, I try to make good choices for God but my brain doesn’t want to make good choices for God.”
I had to hold back my chuckle because I knew the feeling all too well.
I have felt the same way when I’m trying to control my anger and not yell at my kids. As hard as I try, I’m in a battle with my sinful nature.
Paul explained it well in Romans:
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. Romans 7:5
So here we were, mom and daughter…both wanting to do right but struggling with the temptation to do wrong.
She feels like stealing candy to get a sugar rush and I feel like yelling to release stress.
Be angry and do not sin. Ephesians 4:26
Ok, so it’s normal to feel angry. Whew! But we don’t have to sin in our anger. Share on X
How do we train our mind to desire the satisfaction of self-control more than the instant gratification of releasing our frustrations through yelling?
By recognizing our anger triggers!
I would love for you to hop on over and read my guest post at Rear.Release.Regroup to discover how to avoid these common anger triggers.
Hi, Valerie! Thanks for sharing with #SocialButterflySunday! Heading over to check out the rest of your post. Hope to see you link up again this week 🙂
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post! I look forward to linking up again!
Anger is usually a mask for another emotion. Inadequacy, fear, frustration–these all come out as anger, but when we can avoid or heal from those “anger triggers” we are better able to teach our children more appropriate ways to handle disappointments.
That’s so true Brianna! Thank you for your insight!
So true that anger is often masked by some other deep emotions that are worth taking an inner look at! Thank tou so much for your wise words!
Hey Valerie,
What a great series to be a part of. And TY for the reminder that it’s OK to be angry. Although it is important to be extra caution as anger can us in trouble when we are not careful.
Henry Cloud–one of my favorite authors–describes anger as a warning light on a car dashboard. It signals that something needs to be attended to. I know that this is certainly true in my own life, and I’ve found that getting curious about anger, and why it is there, has been incredibly helpful. Thanks for these great thoughts.
Hi, Jed!
Thank you for bringing that up Jed, as the Bible does say that love is not easily angered. I Corinthians 13:4 “It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”
If we are angry we should find out why! Love your input!
This is such a timely and encouraging verse! With little ones it’s easy to loose our tempers at times and become impatient. Whining especially gets to me after a long day at work. I will continue to pray for God’s patience and guidance. Valerie, keep up the great work!
Thank you, Jonathan!
Having children will definitely teach us to be patient! Thank you so much for visiting!
Well done Valerie. So many things here to ponder as a mom and grandmother now. Anger, it is the one emotion that creates so many other emotions in us. I use to tell my children and now I remind my daughter who is a mother, “it is okay to feel anger.” And indeed it is, yet to not sin, is the challenge.
Oh boy, it can be so hard! I really don’t like “feeling” angry. But sometimes kids just can try our patience and it’s up to me to not sin when I’m angry and to be the kind of parent who will use the situation to train my child and teach them in ways that will touch their hearts to change.
I think every mama needs help and encouragement in this area. I love your daughter’s honesty when you do confront her after you find the wrappers. We can all relate to the struggle! Sharing this next week 🙂
Hi Valerie, I really enjoyed this post. Coincidentally, Beth from Messy marriage has been treating a series similar to this. Looks like the Lord is directing our hearts towards anger, temper and triggers.
Thank you for sharing friend.
God Bless
Hi Ifeoma,
I will have to check out her series! I recently noticed a new book out called, Triggers that looks like a great read!
Blessings to You!
What a great topic that hits close to My heart. When my kids look at me I want them to see a picture of Jesus and not a mom that is nothing like Him. I have signed up for the FB group. I look forward to it, it is nice when you don’t have to feel alone in parenting. Thank you for sharing with us at Sitting Among Friends on Wednesdays. I look forward to seeing you again next week.
Yay, Jaime…I’m so glad you signed up for the FB group! I look forward to connecting and supporting each other!
I can relate with all parties invovled. Your daughter, you,anger. I am a work in progress but anger rears it’s ugly head from time to time. Glad to know I am not thr only one and would love to read more about the triggers.
I know a lot of moms who can relate! You’re not alone! I appreciate you stopping by!
I have a two and a half-year-old we are going through right now with this. We tell him countless times not to do something but the more we tell him the more he is tempted to follow his curiosity. Today he managed to climb on my desk and knock over the extension. Luckily the computer was on the main desk and all the electronics so that stayed in tack.
First thought was if he was okay. Then once I knew he wasn’t seriously hurt anger started to rise. Luckily my wife was around and she knew it was time for her to step in and handle the situation. I do the same for her when she gets frustrated.
Laughing about it now, but it wasn’t so funny then.
Kirby, Those two-year-olds sure love to climb, don’t they? I remember when my kids started climbing out of their cribs at an early age, which was scary because I didn’t want my child to get hurt or wander around the house. Having kids is sure a test of our patience. Sometimes it’s nice when our spouse can step in and give us a break. Thank you for sharing!
Hey Valerie,
What a great topic and reminder in dealing with our kids!
It’s so easy to get upset and to yell at them!
Thanks for the wise instruction today.
I’m sharing this all over~
Blessings,
Melanie
Thank you for your support Melanie! Always great to hear from you!
Wow those are all my exact triggers! Messy house and kids whining are probably my worst. It is so hard, too because with 5 kids it seems like there is always a mess. I really like you suggestion of giving extra chores when they are making a mess–of course, I need to sit down and actually work out a chore chart for them, too, so I am not doing everything.
And like you said, when I have my alone time with God and His Word in the morning, my whole day starts better and I am better equipped through Him to handle my triggers.
Exercise is also a great one. I have been going to the gym and running on the elliptical for a half hour in the late afternoons, and it just melts the stress away. Having that 1/2 hour alone with my thoughts and my music without hearing mom every 2 seconds helps, too. I love my kids so much but often I just need to regroup.
Great post! Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for your kind comment, Miranda! I have 4 kids and it’s really hard to keep a clean house! Sometimes I need to learn to let it go and other times I need to be more consistent in teaching them to be responsible and working beside them.
It is easy to be stressed and when someone says something or does something we have requested they not do, to lash out. I have to work on my self-control and speaking when I should just let it go. Of course, I have no little ones to explain to. Yes, the Bible plainly states, be angry, and sin not. It also states to; not let the sun go down upon your wrath. So, after lying down at night, I try to never go without asking God’s forgiveness if I have said or done anything that was wrong. Very good lesson here.
Hi Linda,
I love that you examine your heart before you go to bed and ask for God’s forgiveness. Sometimes we have to be intentional and take that time to quiet ourselves before the Lord and He will often show us where we may need to make peace with others. And then accepting His grace and forgiveness and making efforts to change is also important. I’m so glad you stopped by today!