Pain has been my teacher lately. An MRI revealed that I have bulging discs in my neck pinching on my C-6 nerve causing numbness, pain, and twitching in my right arm, shoulder and back.
The last several weeks, I’ve made trips to the chiropractor, physical therapist and a head and neck doctor. I’ve been referred for acupuncture and to the surgery clinic for cortisone injections. I’m even attending a “neck” class to learn proper posture.
And one thing is for sure, I’ve learned that pain is really getting on my nerves (literally speaking, lol)! Sorry, sometimes a little humor helps.
The pain was the worst in the middle of the night at a women’s retreat. I was sniffling tears back in my top bunk. I couldn’t move. Every position caused excruciating pain. I couldn’t lie down. Sitting up felt unbearable. I sat on a bed holding my head still and waited until morning so I could go home.
I prayed for God to take away the pain. But the pain was intense and constant.
Now several weeks later, I’m still dealing with persistent pain, loss of sleep and side effects from medication while I search for a way to relieve the pinched nerve pain.
I know that my pain is probably minimal compared to someone else. But I now have a better understanding of what it’s like to live with constant pain.
I’m doing my best to embrace it, make adjustments and learn from it.
We may not understand pain, but we can trust in God’s love for us.
During Spring break, my family and I saw a wonderful movie called, Miracles From Heaven starring Jennifer Garner. It was heartbreaking to watch Anna Beam live in constant pain from an incurable disorder that leaves her unable to digest food.
In a touching moment, Anna asks her mother, “Why do you think God hasn’t healed me?” Her mom responds, “There are so many things I don’t know, but I know God loves you.”
We will never be able to wrap our minds around the pain in this world. But the evidence of God’s love for us is poured out in His Word and in our daily pursuit of Him. Even though life can be unbearably painful, we can believe and trust in the fact that God loves us!
God shows his love through others.
God may not have taken my pain away that night at the women’s retreat, but he placed me in a cabin where two of the women knew the exact kind of pain I was in. Women who have been well acquainted with chronic pain. They had compassion towards me and ministered to me and prayed for me. They encouraged me to take a shower to relieve the pain at 3 a.m. in the morning. One friend helped me pack and brought me home early in the morning. Another friend watched my kids all night long while I went to the ER.
Since then, I’ve received texts with friends checking up on me. My kids have helped carry the chore load at home. My mom and aunt drove an hour to come over and clean my house. When you’re in pain, it’s so nice to know that you are loved and cared for by others. God often shows his love for us through others.
God is compassionate.
Even though he may not instantly remove our intense pain, it doesn’t mean God doesn’t care. He hasn’t forgotten you.
You may feel like God isn’t compassionate because He is allowing this pain when he could very easily take it away. But God, instead, often chooses to be present with us through the pain.
Have you pleaded with God to take the pain away so you can sleep? Do you toss and turn all night long? I found this verse to be so comforting!
You have seen my tossing and turning through the night. You have collected all my tears and preserved them in your bottle. You have recorded every one in your book! Psalm 56:8 (Living Bible) TLB
You have seen my tossing and turning through the night! Psalm 56:8 Share on X
You see, sometimes you may not be able to sleep and even plead with God to help you. It’s comforting to know God sees your tossing and is with you through the night.
He may not always stop the pain that causes your tears, but he is compassionate enough to know every single one that falls.
Surrendering is hard but necessary.
Pain forces you to surrender. Surrender your plans. Your list. Your chores. Your normal routine.
Pain forces you to slow down and rest.
Sometimes we have to surrender things that are good or that we feel like we need to do.
Like exercising. Chores. Our to-do list.
But I think the hardest thing for me to surrender was writing. I had lots of plans to grow as a writer. I’ve enrolled in a year-long class called Elite Blog Academy. I’m taking an email course in May. I’m working on redesigning my theme and logo.
But, umm, It’s kind of hard to write with a numb arm. In fact, my arm is numb as I type this right now. But I knew I wanted to let you know, in case you see less of my posts, that I am not gone for good. But I am seeking the Lord for His direction.
Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up our dreams. But it may mean slowing down our pursuit of them in order to gain rest and focus. Share on X
It may mean opening up our clenched fists and letting go of our own control as we place our deepest desires into the hands of our loving Savior and trust Him with the outcome, whatever it may be.
Is God trying to get my attention?
I used to believe that if I disobeyed God he might let something bad happen in order to get me back on track or teach me a lesson. I see God differently now. I believe that everything God does or allows is filtered through His hands of love. And sometimes when he allows pain, he uses that pain to get our attention. But it’s always out of love.
I don’t think God is always trying to get our attention by allowing pain. We live in a fallen world filled with grief and tragedies that happen every day. He grieves with us through those sorrows.
But since my “blogging arm” is numb and typing aggravates it, I had to wonder if God was trying to get my attention with regards to writing. You see, God loves me so much that He is jealous for me. When we are too busy doing “good” things and lose our communion with Him, he may get our attention. He just wants us back.
I know God led me to start this blog. Writing is an amazing ministry that has allowed me to face fear and share my faith with thousands of people around the world.
Not being able to type has confirmed my love for writing. It’s confirmed in my heart that even though I don’t make money from my blog, it’s worth the investment of my time and money. Sharing the Lord with others through writing is such a huge blessing.
I read a blog post that asked, “What are you willing to do to have an encounter with God? What do you need to come down from?”
And so I surrendered this blog to the Lord. It’s His, not mine. It took some tears of letting go to tell God that if he wanted me to give it up, I would walk away from it tomorrow.
But I came to that place. It feels good to have that kind of peace. It feels good to know my relationship with Jesus is worth more to me than anything else. You see, I don’t think He’s really asking me to give it up. But I think He knew that I needed to surrender it into His loving arms.
I’m so sorry if you are living with chronic pain. I would love to pray for you. You can email me anytime at valeriemurray@valeriemurray.com if you would like prayer.
What lessons have you learned by living with pain? Do you have any words of encouragement for someone who is struggling today? I would love for you to let us know in the comment section below.
This was the post I mentioned above in case you want to check it out!
When You Feel Small: He Sees You by Shannon Geurin
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Hello there! I'm Valerie, a mom of four and wife of 27 years. My writing inspires others to cultivate courageous faith and find solace in trusting God, especially in moments of fear and uncertainty. Join me on this adventure as we explore the beauty of trusting God when we are afraid. 
Oh I know your pain, I just had C-7/C-6 and C-6/C-5 fusion because my nerves were trapped due to degenerative disk disease. Immediate pain relief. I tried everything and there was no other option than surgery. God gave me a surgeon that ‘asked’ if he could pray with me before surgery; yes please I said. I also deal with a silent illness (Sjogrene’s syndrome an autoimmune disorder), that causes many issues. I’ve been diagnosed for 12 years and at 42 I am no having continuous joint pain (used to just be an ache), weird twitching and tingling all over (without pain, thank you Lord), digestion issues; anyway you get the idea. I am blessed to have a full understanding that God has a reason but your post just made me realize that I don’t need to ignore the pain all the time I need to seek what God is telling me. I’ve been so used to ignoring it and going on as much as I can that I forget to “listen”. Thank you for your post and I pray that you find relief. Please do know that if you are to the point of having numbness you can have permanent damage (sorry the paramedic came out in me).
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, Stacey! I’m SO glad that your surgery has given you immediate relief. Praise God! I’m going to pray that you continue to have relief from that awful nerve pain as well as from your joint pain. As for me, I’ve been getting traction at my chiropractor’s office and I really believe that it has helped to take away the nerve pain. The only problem is that the numbness in my arm (comes and goes) and comes back when I try to exercise (I did a cycle class recently). I just have to be really careful! I would love to keep in touch and know how you are progressing after your surgery! My prayers are with you!
What an inspiring perspective! I am in awe of your positive outlook. I’m so glad you continue to know of God’s love. I hope and pray that you are able to find relief. Thank you for linking up with us! #TakeTime
This is a great reminder – and one I needed today! Thank you for linking up with us 🙂 I hope you are able to find some relief.
Thank you so much for stopping by!
You are so strong and have such great perspective and a positive outlook. Thanks for linkup up with us over at the #taketime linkup!
Thank you!
Praying for you Valerie!
Thank you!
“There are so many things I don’t know, but I know God loves you.” Such a great line!
Hi Emily,
Yes, I had to write that one down in the middle of the movie! We may not always understand why bad things happen..but we can know that God loves us!
Val,
An amazing post! There is truly so much to learn from pain and so much good to be had. I learned similar lessons last fall. It has taken me months to truly surrender the blog and know that He will make happen what is meant to happen. His timing. His amount. I can only give it my best which may not be nearly what my best could have been before all the pain. Since I have surrendered it, though, He has truly done such amazing things. Things I never dreamed. I always say, He fills my gaps. Now, I feel that truth deep into the crevices of my heart. Praying for you, friend! I hate that you don’t feel well. Even though there is good, pain stinks. It is exhausting. I’m praying for your smile to stay intact and your joy to continue to bubble!
Hugs,
Lori
Awe, Lori..what a wonderful testimony! I’m so glad that God has filled in those gaps for you and I trust Him to do the same for me. God is so good and worthy of our full surrender and trust. I hope you are feeling better too!
Thankful for posts like this that give us something to cling to in the middle of a battle… I have my own health issues that, although not the same physically, have the same effect mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Your words encourage, today, Valerie. Thank you.
Hi Christine,
I’m so sorry for your own health issues and the struggles that come with them. May God give you His peace that surpasses all understanding!
I have dealt with chronic pain in my arm (due to piano playing) for the past four years, and back pain (injured in an effort to cure the arm pain) for the past two years. It’s daily, sometimes excruciating, and always annoying. But God has taught me SOOOO much through it all, and I can say I’m truly grateful. He is slowly granting me relief, but I pray the lessons learned will remain forever. Thanks so much for sharing this post!
That sounds painful! It’s hard when the pain is based around something you love to do, right? Praying for you, that you continue to improve and get better! Blessings to you!
Incredibly beautiful and heartfelt writing, as usual my friend. Thank you for your authenticity around pain. “Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up your dreams!” LOVE THIS! Sometimes I wonder if God waits for us to surrender before our dreams can come true.
Thank you, Sam! May God continue to guide you in pursuit of your dreams! God bless you!
Valerie this is lovely. Thank you so much for opening about your struggle and sharing your very positive message! I needed to hear this today. Hugs and I hope to see you out at the Happy Now Link Up again this week 🙂
Thank you for stopping by, Jen! Have a great day!
Thank you for sharing your story. I truly believe that we can find a lesson in every hard circumstance and I’m glad that you were able to find lessons in your pain. I pray that you also find relief now!
I believe that too, Erica! Those lessons are gems we will never forget!
Valerie,
I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling through some pain but it sounds like God is revealing some amazing things to you. I have been in constant pain for almost 6 years since the stroke but I can relate to all the thoughts you shared regarding your blog. I am glad that you are at peace with your writing. I know the Lord will continue to bless you as you seek to glorify Him. I too have been struggling with some new health issues that have brought my progress with EBA to a screeching halt. I hope to get back on track soon! I’m looking forward to the email course in May…she does such a good job of training and sharing what she has learned. What you have shared here is such a blessing to me. I was just telling my sister last night…everything in God’s timing. I will trust His leading regarding my blog as well. I’m adding your health difficulties to my Prayermate app on my phone! May God continue to richly bless you in all your endeavors!
Thank you so much for praying for me Horace! That means so much to me. I’m so sorry about your recent health challenges. Sometimes it’s hard to keep up. And sometimes God wants us to slow down. Praying for discernment for us both Horace! I’m so glad to know you through CBB.
Valerie,
I am so sorry to hear about your recent challenges and pain. Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. I love your compassion for others, and what you are learning in the midst of your storms. I agree. Our family is facing our own challenges this year. We continue to see each month that God is compassionate and good! I love hearing about how others are clinging to God in the midst of their trials. Thank you for sharing your story!
I’m so sorry that your family is facing challenges this year, Jed. I pray that God continues to meet your needs and fill you with peace. Your blog is a blessing to so many!
This hits home. I too deal with ongoing pain. I have had drug interactions. Recently, an allergic reaction, itchy and miserable. I have RA, Fibro, and Gastric Reflux Disease. I deal with pain in every joint in my body. Thank you for sharing your story. I will pray for your success despite your pain. God strengthens and upholds us for His purpose.
Oh Mary, that sounds awful! I’m so very sorry. I pray that your symptoms will calm down and that you can find a medicine that your body will accept. Praying for you!
these are all such important lessons to remember. I am so sorry you are enduring so much pain. I find it so hopeful and admire how you are choosing to look to God and what He is doing through this hardship
Thank you Elena! God bless you!
Oh Valerie, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I’m praying right now for the Lord’s healing and for His grace and encouragement. I know from experience that chronic pain can depress a person. (I had a tough health experience in my late 20’s.) Lord, pour out your healing power and grace over our friend. Keep her safe in the shadow of your wing. Free her from pain. In Jesus’ name.
Me too Mihaela! I’m glad we are not alone!
Oh Betsy, thank you so much. I hope you aren’t dealing with chronic pain now. Thank you for being so sweet and leaving a kind comment.
Amen. I’m so thankful God knows our pain and he can help us grow in the midst of it.
Me too Mihaela! I’m glad we are not alone!
What a wise word, Valerie!
Thanks for allowing God to use your pain as part of your ministry! I believe you will bless and encourage many through your words.
I’m sharing this one today!
Blessings,
Melanie
Thank you so much for being such an encouragement to me, Melanie!
So sorry for your pain, dear Valerie.
Thank you for sharing this difficulty with us and the truths you’ve gleaned from it. I will keep you in my prayers.
Thank you Gleniece! You are always so kind!
Valerie, this is so beautiful. These are such important lessons to learn – whether we are in pain, in a season of waiting, in a season of surrender – you name it, God works. And these lessons are evidence of His work in your life! Thanks for letting us be a part of it. 🙂 Thankful for you & praying for you, my friend!
Thank you, Alison. I know you are well acquainted with pain. I pray that God would also ease your pain and give you direction. I’m blessed to know you!
Valerie, what a beautiful post! I’m so sorry you have been dealing with so much pain, but I love the way you are using it to minister to others. I love your heart! That translations of Psalm 56 is awesome. I need to memorize that one! God bless you and deliver you from this pain! Hugs!
I appreciate you Deb! Thank you for your friendship!
Valerie, I pray for healing, patience and discernment during your pain. Even as you come to grips with the spirituality of your pain, the physical stil hurts. I am sory for that. As you open your hands to release, God will give you something better.
May God bles you for your faith and love.
Thank you for your sweet words and for your prayers Cindy!
.God bless you dear girl. Pain is hard to endure and understand but we cling to the Lord. I’m praying for you. You are a blessing to many people. Love from Linda Hyder
Linda,
Your comment really encouraged me. Thank you for your kindness and understanding.
I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this Valerie. It must be very difficult to function and still stay on top of everything. You are strong though and your faith will see you through.
Thank you for your encouragement Michelle. Your friendship means a lot.