DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW THE WORST-CASE SCENARIO?

When my husband asked the cardiologist what the worst-case scenario could be before his angiogram, the doctor paused. He looked from my husband to me and let the question hang in the room.

“Do you really want to know?”

The answer was no.

The doctor understood something my anxious mind often forgets. Knowing every possible disaster rarely prepares us for life. More often, it simply opens the door to fear.

Yet if anyone had a reason to think about worst-case scenarios, it was us.

During the COVID shutdown, what began as a fever turned into a 30-day hospital stay that seemed to grow worse by the day.

A staph infection had entered his bloodstream, and his kidneys were failing. He was put on antibiotics, and just when we thought he might finally be discharged, a blackened toe revealed the infection was still spreading. Eventually, doctors discovered the source of it all: endocarditis, an infection of his aortic valve that had progressed to sepsis and affected multiple areas of his body, including his brain.

Every day seemed to bring another setback and another reason to wonder if he would survive.

Yet by God’s grace, he did.

Against all odds, He came home alive.

Fast forward to a couple of months ago, when chest pain sent him back to the hospital.

After an emergency room evaluation, everything appeared reassuring. As a precaution, his cardiologist scheduled a stress test.

The results led to an angiogram.

At first, we found comfort in the statistics. Only a small percentage of angiograms lead to open-heart surgery.

We talked about how quickly we’d put this behind us. Surely, we would be among the 98 percent.

The day after the stress test, we loaded up the car and began driving to celebrate our 30th anniversary.

Then we received a call.

An angiogram appointment had unexpectedly become available.

We had a choice to make.

Continue our anniversary trip or turn around and take the appointment.

Instead of heading toward our destination, we turned around and drove home.

Looking back now, I see that what seemed like a disappointing interruption was actually God’s protection.

The angiogram revealed a widow-maker blockage. All four major arteries were severely blocked. Instead of being part of the 98 percent, we became part of the 2 percent who needed open-heart surgery.

Sometimes God’s protection is a disappointing U-turn you don’t want to make. Share on X

After everything we had already endured, I couldn’t believe we were facing another open-heart surgery.

The news silenced us with the weight of what we knew was coming.

My mind immediately raced to the worst possible outcome. How could he survive another open-heart surgery? Fear whispered that we had already received more miracles than most people ever do and that perhaps this time the story would end differently.

I looked at the suitcase we had packed for our anniversary trip. Instead of wondering what memories we would make, I found myself unpacking the potential memories we would never be able to make again.

Would I end up taking that trip alone since the room was already paid for? Could I bear spending a night in the room that was supposed to celebrate our anniversary without him there?

I even imagined missing the things that sometimes drove me crazy.

His loud voice on the phone when I wanted the house to be quiet. Or the squeaky sound of his flip flops, which he wore year-round.

The quiet I sometimes wished for suddenly felt like loneliness.

I would miss his confidence when I felt uncertain.

His unwavering boldness when difficult decisions had to be made.

How would I figure out the FAFSA forms and tax paperwork he always handled?

How would I pay for college?

What if there wasn’t enough money?

Before anything had happened, I was already trying to solve problems that didn’t exist yet. It was as though my mind was rehearsing a future I desperately hoped would never come.

As we waited for the second open-heart surgery to be scheduled, my body responded in a way I had never experienced before.

I couldn’t stop quietly crying. Not sobbing. Just a steady stream of tears that seemed to come from nowhere.

I would be folding laundry, walking through Target, driving, or talking on the phone, and tears would start falling.

It felt involuntary.

It was as though my body remembered everything before my mind did.

I eventually needed medication to help me sleep at night.

During that season, I came across something Megan Fate Marshman wrote in her book Relaxed that deeply encouraged me:

“The first step in your journey to becoming more relaxed, more like Christ, is to go to Him with everything, even your anxiety. Not by firmly declaring, “I trust You, God,” while ignoring your worries. Rather, by speaking to Him about all of the worries and ways you don’t trust Him. Going to God with the truth—even if the truth is that you don’t trust Him in an area of your life­–is trusting Him. Trusting that He is the solution to the problem. Trusting that He will teach you how to trust Him more fully. He grows us and then transforms us as we go to Him.”

Those words reminded me that trust isn’t pretending I’m not afraid. Trust is bringing my fears honestly to God and believing He can meet me there.

The surgery was expected to take four hours.

Instead, it lasted seven.

If you’ve ever waited while your spouse is in open-heart surgery, you know there are few feelings like it.

Time slows down.

You can’t relax.

You can’t rest.

You pray and wait.

When the surgeon finally walked into the waiting room and told me everything had gone well, I felt like I could breathe freely again.

My husband was alive!

God had carried us through again!

For a while, it seemed as though the worst was finally behind us.

But two months later, just as he was settling back into the routines of everyday life, chest pain sent my husband back to the emergency room.

Doctors decided he needed another angiogram.

After everything we had already been through, hearing those words again felt like a punch to the stomach.

I was at home when I received the call.

I assumed the “10-minute” procedure would be finished by the time I arrived.

Instead, I rushed there and walked into an empty room.

The bed was perfectly made, as if ready for a new patient.

The room felt eerily empty.

More than an hour and a half passed.

Then I heard a nurse at the doorway.

I looked up and saw her wheeling him back into the room.

The angiogram revealed that one of his bypass grafts had failed, and doctors were able to restore blood flow.

“Thank You, Lord!”

We later learned that the chest pain that had sent him to the emergency room, which he thought was indigestion, was a heart attack.

Yet somehow, there was no permanent heart damage.

Another miracle.

Another testimony.

WHAT EPHESIANS 3 TAUGHT ME ABOUT STRENGTH

The morning before the angiogram, I read Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 3.

‘I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit.’

At the time, I didn’t feel strong. I felt anxious.

I felt exhausted.

Yet this verse reminded me that I don’t have to willpower my way to peace of mind. God’s resources are not limited by my circumstances, my emotions, or my ability to hold myself together. He has everything I need to face the unknown.

He sustains me when I feel weak.

He helps me put one foot in front of the other. He gives me the courage to walk into hospitals, sit in waiting rooms, and face uncertainty.

Trusting God doesn’t mean bad things will never happen.

The truth is, many of the worst-case scenarios I’ve worried about in my life have never come true.

But some of them did.

Open-heart surgery happened.

Sepsis happened.

A failed bypass graft happened.

A heart attack happened.

Yet in every crisis, God took care of us.

He was there in the hospital rooms.

He was there in the waiting rooms.

He was there in the tears I couldn’t seem to stop crying.

He was there through doctors, nurses, friends, family, Facebook messages, texts, meals, prayers, flowers, gift cards, and countless acts of kindness.

He was there in the worship songs that ministered to me on drives to the hospital.

He was there every time I thought I couldn’t handle one more piece of bad news.

His love has been so faithful, so constant, and so present in every season that it has given me more reasons to trust Him. Not because I know what the future holds, but because I know the One who will be with me there.

Real faith isn’t just trusting God for a miracle; it’s trusting Him to care for you even if the miracle doesn’t come.

My trust is built by bringing my fears honestly to God and allowing Him to show me who He is in the middle of them. With every trial, He has revealed more of His faithfulness and given me another reason to place my confidence in Him.

I pray I remember that His love does not change, even if someday bad news turns into the worst-case scenario. I pray I remember the God who has carried me through every crisis before.

I hope I remember.

But even if I don’t…

Even if fear overwhelms me.

Even if grief clouds everything I know to be true.

God’s love will still be there.

His love does not depend on the strength of my faith.

His love does not depend on my ability to stay calm.

His love does not depend on me getting everything right.

His love does not depend on me.

His love has unlimited resources.

His love is wider than my fears.

Longer than my waiting.

Higher than my understanding.

Deeper than my worst-case scenarios.

And when my mind goes to the worst possible place, I am learning to trust that God will be faithful to lead me back to the truth of who He is. He has taken care of me before, and He will take care of me again.

Questions for Reflection

1. What are you struggling to trust God with right now?
2. When you look back on past trials, where can you see God’s faithfulness carrying you through?
3. How might remembering God’s past faithfulness help you face today’s uncertainty?
4. What would change if you focused less on the outcome and more on the God who will be with you in it?

I would love to continue this conversation in the comments. If you’ve walked through a worst-case scenario, I’d love to hear how God carried you through it. Your testimony may encourage someone else who is struggling to trust Him in the unknown.

If you need prayer, I’d love to pray for you. Simply share your request in the comments.

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