I love it when the road in marriage is fun and pleasant—when it feels like you’re in a convertible, driving care-free along the coast as the wind tosses your hair and your favorite music is playing. These are the times when companionship is sweet and you make memories you’ll never forget.
But other times the road gets bumpy.
The twists and turns create motion sickness. Disagreements. Dissension. You’re driving winding roads on steep cliffs and it feels like you could fall off.
Sometimes we reach beautiful destinations together and celebrate the great views and the joy of unity and friendship.
And other times we can’t seem to find our way. We’re lost together. We’re driving in the car on the road of life and we’re not talking.
Or we find ourselves on completely different roads trying to find the intersection where we can meet without crashing.
Have you ever felt alone and lost in marriage?
How do we learn to live in the long stretches of marriage that cry out to God, are we there yet? When will we get there? How do we get there? I’ve found it’s in those times I must pray with perseverance, patience and hope that God will show us the way.
This blog is called Cord of 6. It’s about keeping family strong through Christ. I believe that Christ is the one who will help us be strong in Him.
I believe that with Christ our families can be stronger. #MendingMarriagePrayers Share on X
But that doesn’t always mean that they are strong, right?
I never want others to presume that because my blog title is Cord of 6 that my family is always strong. Because the truth is, it’s not.
So when it’s not, I cling to the One who can make me strong in Him. Because that’s how I find peace when the road gets bumpy.
You can’t control the thoughts, perceptions and actions of others, but you can choose your actions and reactions and the way you influence your family.
I’ve found when I pray for my marriage God begins to mend some of the broken places in my heart. He helps me to see my marriage through spiritual eyes instead of my own limited perception.
And the more I focus on Him, the more my heart is settled by His peace.
I’m not a marriage counselor. I can’t tell you what will happen in your marriage or what God’s answer is for you.
All I do know is that,,,
when I don’t know, I kneel before the throne of my Lord Most High who does know #MendingMarriagePrayers Share on X
Prayer may not make all the problems go away. Sometimes, even when we pray, it’s not always easy. Sometimes you and your spouse will both be in prayer and it seems God answers you both differently. And it can be confusing. And hard. And it can take time.
We need to have perseverance in prayer because it may take time.
Don’t get discouraged if when you start to pray you still feel lost or like the enemy is attacking.
Or maybe you’re married to an unbeliever and you’re the only one praying. Perhaps you’re struggling to live the Christian life while your spouse is against everything you do to grow closer to God.
No matter what, still we persevere in prayer.
Never stop praying. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 #SignUpFor31DaysofMendingMarriagePrayers Share on X
We can trust in our relationship with God and lean into him no matter what. Even when we don’t understand.
We can find hope in the fact that God can turn things around.
You turn things around! Shall the potter be considered as equal with the clay, That what is made would say to its maker, “He did not make me”; Or what is formed say to him who formed it, “He has no understanding”? Isaiah 29:16
Clay is earth that forms a paste with water and hardens when heated or dried.
Clay is kneaded to get all the air bubbles out. The air pockets in clay will cause it to explode when it is being fired in the kiln.
Any foreign particles creates imperfections in the clay and cause it to weaken and fall apart on the wheel.
Our flesh wants to cry out for God to change our spouse first and our situation.
Be willing for God to reveal imperfections that may be causing air pockets in your marriage. Share on X
Before I pray, it’s important for my heart to be malleable–pliably surrendered to the hands of my potter, God. I must be willing for God to shape me.
Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8
When we pray, God gives us the assurance that he hears our cries for help.
We know that it’s God’s will for our marriages to be healthy. And so we can be assured when we are praying for God’s will, He is going to hear us. And we can trust that He will guide us as we seek Him. (1 John 5:14-15)
There have been times when I’ve depended on my relationship with my husband to give me the peace that only God can give.
God keeps showing me that the peace I need can only come from Him.
I’ve also been learning that I don’t have to wait for a problem to be solved in my marriage in order to have peace.
This was a life-giving revelation to me. I don’t like problems. I don’t like conflict. And sometimes I feel like I can’t have peace unless I can figure out a solution and fix things.
But when I seek my peace in my relationship with Jesus I’m always able to find it.
When peace comes from Jesus, we can have it even when problems aren’t solved! Share on X
Do you want to replant the hope you’ve lost in your marriage? Do you want to restore the desolate places?
Prayer is the direct route that will bring you peace, comfort and hope. #MendingMarriagePrayers Share on X
I know some of you are really hurting. Some of you who read this may be in some really broken situations. My heart aches for you.
God gives each of us our own free will to choose how we treat others. He doesn’t force us to obey Him.
But our prayers can greatly impact the atmosphere in our homes.
The power of the Holy Spirit can soften hearts towards God and minister to you and your spouse.
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26
As this process happens God can work to restore us. And as we each become stronger in the Lord we can learn to love each other better.
I the Lord have rebuilt what was destroyed and have replanted what was desolate. Ezekiel 36:36
Our prayers can have a great influence on our marriage. #31daysofmendingmarriageprayers Share on X
How has prayer helped to restore your marriage? I would love for you to share in the comments below. If you have a prayer request for your marriage, please include it in the comments and I will pray for you.
I’ve written 31 days of Mending Marriage prayers—each based upon a scripture that will help us grow in loving our spouse with grace.
I’ve created a separate mailing list for those of you who want to commit to praying for your spouse for 31 days. When you sign up you’ll receive one prayer a day covering all sorts of topics. (You can see all the topics here).
If you are currently a subscriber and would like to receive these prayers, you’ll need to sign up for them as well, since they will be going to a specific mailing list for marriage.
These prayers are meant to help you pour out your heart to your Heavenly Father asking him to mend the broken places in your marriage, and in yourself.
Sign up to receive Mending Marriage Prayers and spend 31 days seeking the Lord for His wisdom and guidance for your marriage.
Lord, Restore My Marriage
How Prayer Can Help Mend A Broken Marriage
When You Are Praying For Answers In Your Marriage
Hello there! I'm Valerie, a mom of four and wife of 27 years. My writing inspires others to cultivate courageous faith and find solace in trusting God, especially in moments of fear and uncertainty. Join me on this adventure as we explore the beauty of trusting God when we are afraid. 
Hi Valerie,
I’m in a non-traditional relationship where my partner and I have been together for 17 years and have two kids together.
We were planning on finally getting married (in October) and handing our relationship over to God, but he recently decided he was unhappy in our relationship because he wasn’t getting the attention, emotional support, affirmation he needed from me (in hindsight, I wasn’t getting it from him either). I have owned up to my share of these issues.
We both grew up with poor examples of loving relationships, but he came out of his childhood knowing what he wanted and expected in a healthy relationship, whereas I came out of childhood with no inclination of what I wanted nor how to have a healthy relationship.
In response to his feelings, instead of coming to me, he started an emotional affair with someone across the country that he had met online. He has moved out of our home, but is attending couples therapy with me.
I am willing to do whatever I need to better myself to be a better partner (and hopefully wife) for him, but right now his goal for therapy is civilized co-parenting, where my goal is full reconciliation and eventually back on track to get married and hand or relationship to God.
It’s such a hard situation to try to be strong, faithful, Godly, a good mother, and to have hope.
Jenell, Thank you for sharing your heart. I’m so sorry for the disappointment in the cancelled plans for the upcoming marriage you hope for and the emotional affair. I pray he would turn his heart to the Lord and that God will give you peace.
Dear Jesus,
You know and you see all our hard situations. Father, we pray you would draw close to Jenell as she draws close to you. You created us to know you and live our lives for you. When we each draw close to you, we in turn, draw closer to one another. May the truth of who you are and your love for Jenell and her partner casue them to seek you.. Lord, lead them to a church home if they don’t have one who will love them and care for them. Help Jenell when she feels alone and betrayed. Be her comfort and hope.
In Jesus Name,
Amen
Thank you Valerie. I don’t know how much more I can handle. We had a big blow up last night after he wouldn’t give me a straight answer on a couple questions I askedafter we had a therapy session last week. I discovered he was still talking to the other woman and even sharing with her what was discussed in our appointment. I’m starting to lose hope.
So sorry for your pain. God is near to the brokenhearted. He is your hope. Your life has meaning and purpose in Christ. I encourage you to spend time in God’s word which is a great comfort during hard times. Maybe start with 1 John or the Psalms. Pray for the Lord to lead and direct you as to what you should do. It’s ok to set boundaries for yourself. I list some books above that help learn how to set boundaries in relationships. No matter what happens, God loves you and is with you every minute. He will provide for you and help you every step of the way. He is our sure foundation when life crumbles. Dear Lord, comfort Jenell right now. Help her to know what to do and what to say. Lord if there are areas where communication needs to take place, I pray you would guide them through that in a healthy way. If there is an affair, I pray for conviction and repentance and for his heart to desire restoration. But if that doesn’t happen, I pray Jenell would find comfort and peace in you. You can restore her. You love her. Guide her to people who can support her in her time of need. In Jesus Name, Amen
4 months ago today I found out about my husband’s affairs. He moved out for 9 weeks and returned home for the kids. He recently ended the relationship with the other woman. He is a roller coaster (that I get to travel on with him) of words, actions, feelings, and emotions. One day he loves me and the next day he isn’t sure (which my pastor says if very normal). My pastor (divorce recovery counselor) says that he doesn’t understand how I can forgive him and show him so much grace. I also know that he hasn’t surrendered to God yet. Please pray that he will surrender completely surrender and turn to God. Pray for restoration in our marriage. I want to have a better and renewed marriage. My heart is breaking!
Staci, I’m so sorry. You’ve been through so much in such a short time. Your willingness to forgive shows the heart of God. And I pray that your husband will come to a full realization of God’s love and grace towards him. I pray that the power of your forgiveness displays the grace of Jesus to him and will help soften his heart to full surrender. Keep praying. Be in the Word. Pray for discernment from the Holy Spirit. He will lead and guide you every moment.
Dear Jesus,
I pray you would comfort Staci’s breaking heart. Lord be her peace and strength. Lord, her willingness to forgive touches my own heart. May it touch the heart of her husband as well. I pray against Satan deceiving him. Bring people into his life who would minister and lead him to truth. I pray for complete repentance. That he would walk away from these affairs and be willing to restore trust in his marriage. Give him a contrite heart that seeks your forgiveness. Lord, your love draws us to you. You restore broken things. You hold all things together. Hold Staci’s broken heart. Comfort her in her pain. May her hope be in you, Jesus. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Hi Valerie, please help me to pray for me, my husband and my marriage. My husband and I have had rough patches in our 12 years together we had 1 kid, we never encountered this kind of turmoil before but few months ago I caught that my husband is involved with other woman, single. 2x same woman and I was thinking he can’t give her up. I did ask him, if he love the woman but he said he has no feelings, I forgive him 3x now and I admit that I am still having doubts if he already stop being with the woman. The only thing I can rely now is my prayers and faith to GOD. With all my heart Im praying with every ounce of my heart and soul to turn make my husband faithful with me and totally stop seing the girl. He met this girl because of influence of some friends, and they pair -pair them…. I want our marriage and family back to normal with all the true love, happiness, happy family. Thank you, Valerie. God bless…
Patrix, First, I want to apologize because I see I have missed reading your request from last month. I’m so sorry. I know it’s hard to leave comments that share the pain you are going through. Thank you for sharing your heart here. I encourage you to seek and pray about finding counseling to help you through this. When trust is broken healing takes time and counseling can help set parameters that will help your husband and you work together to build back the trust in the relationship. Dear Heavenly Father, Please comfort Patrix. Lead and guide her in her marriage. I pray that her husband would have a repentant heart and seek full restoration in the marriage. Lord, I pray he would cut all correspondence with this other woman. I pray he would seek to know you with all of his heart. That you would give him a desire to know you, receive your forgiveness, turn from his sins and seek you with all of his heart, soul and mind. Bring peace to Patrix. Give her wisdom and discernment to know what to do. Comfort her in her pain. In Jesus Name, Amen
Valerie, please pray for me and my marriage. My wife and I have had rough patches in our 7 years together but recently she’s felt the spark is gone and she wants out. We had been going to church the past few months but I feel she’s having doubts about god and not knowing what she’s wants in life. I’m certainly not perfect but im praying with every ounce of my heart and soul to turn around my marriage and for both of us to grow into better people for the marriage and our child. Thank you!
Scott, thank you for reaching out. I’m sorry I didn’t see your request sooner.
Dear Lord, Lord we ask that you revive this marriage and restore them. Heal their wounds. Help Scott’s wife come to you with her doubts and questions and find that you love her and will always help her. Give them wisdom to face any decisions ahead in their future. May they both seek you with all their hearts and grow through reading your word. Thank you that your unconditional love for us never fails. You never leave us. You are the God of miracles. And no matter what happens in our life here on earth, you give us reason to hope. Lord I ask that you comfort this couple. In Jesus Name, Amen
Thank you for this… My husband and I are currently separated. It has been a hard 7 months, and with God, things are slowly but surely coming back together. I find myself praying several times daily for my spouse and marriage. It is hard and scary, waiting on God’s timing. Please pray for us and our 5 children.
Thank you for sharing Tracy. I’m so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like it’s been a hard 7 months. I pray your marriage continues to heal and restore. Dear Jesus, Thank you for Tracy and her commitment to her marriage in doing the hard work. Restore them fully and enable them to resolve any differences that have come between them in the past. I pray that they would come to a place where trust is restored and communication can happen in a way that brings peace. Lord, thank you for your love and guidance. I pray for their 5 children. Heal their hearts. Help them to feel your nearness and comfort towards them. I pray they would find joy each day in You. Give Tracy the strength to face each day. Be her company. Her joy and peace. Comfort her with your love. May your Holy Spirit work to restore hearts and heal wounds. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.
My husband left me 3 months ago and while things are amicable and he feels he made the ‘right’ decision, I feel neither of us truly fought to work things out during our marriage. I kindly and humbly ask for prayers in restoring my marriage and for the guidance to help us rebuild our marriage in love, happiness, strength, faithfulness, connection, intimacy, and passion. I love my husband and believe that this situation has been put in our path in order to have the marriage we could not have otherwise. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your heart here Christina. My heart always aches when I read comments from hurting women that start with being left by their spouse. I pray that the nearness of our Lord and Savior will comfort you and give you strength when you feel alone. Heavenly Father, You are near to the brokenhearted. You see every tear that falls. Thank you for your unconditional love for us. Lord, we are sinners. We each bring our own set of issues and ways of relating with eachother that can often blind us and hinder our communication and understanding of one another. But you know our inner workings and you teach us how to love others well and communicate in an understanding way. I pray over Christine’s marriage. Father, help them to be able to communicate and both have hearts that are willing to restore and rebuild the places that have been broken in their marriage. Revive their love. Restore their marriage. May they each call upon the power of your Holy Spirit to fight for their marriage.
Thank you for this beautiful, encouragement. Your message brings great comfort and hope that one day God will hear my prayers and restore my marriage. Please pray for me, pray for my husband that he may return to the church trust Godband nig his own personal desires of oust and adultery. I believe that God can turn the impossible to possibles through his miracles and promises. May God continue to Nekesa you Valerie and the work of your hands.?
Emily, I’m so sorry for the struggles you are going through. God hears your cries and sees your pain. I’m praying for you. I’m praying that your husband would have a softened heart, able to see God’s grace, and choose to turn away from adultery and seek restoration. Thank you for sharing your prayer request here. “Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!”
Psalm 116:2
Hello, my wife says she is a Christian but is hurt because I thought she was having a inappropriate relationship with my friend so she moved out 3-1/2 months ago and has came home to tell me on the 23rd that I don’t love you and that I want a divorce
I am so sorry, Doug. I’m praying for you now. Father, you see this marriage and you know all the inner workings going on. And Lord, you know the areas that need restoration and healing. I pray that you would work to bring healing and unity. I pray both hearts would be open to your Holy Spirit’s leading. Lord, you do not leave us alone. You keep us in your constant care. So if Doug is alone this Christmas, meet him in his grief. May your presence comfort him. You came to give us peace and salvation. You came to bring us hope. You are the light in the darkness. Help us to follow you where you lead us. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Thank you for the encouragement I truly love my wife and her boys and with god anything is possible.
I do believe in miracles and restoration when circumstances seem hopeless. I’m praying for you on this Christmas Day. I’m so sorry for the pain you are going through. May God’s love comfort you and praying your marriage is restored.
I’m working this morning but was able to stop in and see my wife and boys. We ate dinner together and my wife has said nothing to here mom and dad about anything but is still talking of divorce
Yes, yes, YES!!! Even when prayer doesn’t fix our problems, it is where we’ll find peace! Great post! Sharing with my Messy Marriage study group! Blessings!
Thank you for sharing Liz!
Only Christ can mend and restore our marriages. Marriages are supposed to be a trifold cord with Jesus in the center. The moment we let loose from Jesus our hearts, and mind will wander off. Such a blessed post ,Valerie.
May the Lord use you to minister to many in the area of marriage.
Thank you Diana. The Lord is our strength!
Yes, yes, yes – we need to be praying for our marriages. I am embarrassed to say I don’t always do that. I pray for lots of things but it seems I only pray for our marriage when I am in a dark place and feel lonely in my marriage. Thank you for your wise words.
Hi Maree, I’m the same way. It’s easy to wait for those dark places before we really start beseeching the Lord.
I love this, Valerie! Praying for our marriages and our families breathes life into them. And you’re right, there are no guarantees because we’re dealing with people but through prayer, we give the Spirit a better opportunity to work in us and in our families. Blessings, my friend!
I wish there were guarantees. But like you said, we are dealing with sinful people who often choose not to soften their hearts towards God and God never forces people to choose Him. My heart is heavy for those who are suffering in those kinds of situations.
Valerie, I just discovered your blog. Thanks for sharing the power of Prayer. Our God is a healing, restoring God. Thank You, Jesus! I actually also just used the same pic of the praying young lady on my post yesterday, called Being Wonder Woman. As a new writer, I’d love for you to read and comment if you’re willing. It’s kind of scary to put your life out there. — Thanks for sharing your gift with the world, and for sharing good news.
Hi Alicia! Yes, it is scary sharing sometimes. Good job for moving past that fear. I’m hopping on over to check our your post. Blessings to you and nice to meet you.
Thank you very much Valerie for the wonderful post, it is a great encouragement to read and get inspired. God bless you and keep up the good work you are doing.
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement Pastor Hesbon!
Great post!
Thank you..i so needed this today Valerie. I needed these words and I needed this encouragement.
Lureta, I’m so glad this encouraged you friend! Hugs!
Your 31 days of prayers sounds beautiful, Valerie. It’s so true … prayer doesn’t always fix things. But if we have the right heart and are persistent at it, God fixes us. I agree that sometimes God tells me one thing and my husband something different. I struggle with that. But I know God has a purpose for it.
Hi Dianne, Thank you for your thoughts. God always has a purpose even when we don’t understand how He is working. God bless you!
Love this, Valerie. As a pastor’s wife, people come to me about marriage issues and we’ve certainly had our fair share of marriage captions. From “All smiles and happy kisses” to “The good, the bad, and the very ugly.” I write on marriage and on prayer and I agree with your thoughts, it absolutely takes prayer to strengthen our marriages. May we never, ever underestimate the power of prayer to change things, people, and to change me. My favorite line is this, “Prayer is the direct route that will bring you peace, comfort and hope.” Blessings! Visiting from #FreshMarketFriday
Thank you so much! “May we never underestimate the power of prayer to change things,” Amen!